back to school once again, this time with a new resolution to mug mug mug consistently and not only before the exams. *grins sheepishly* yes, i'm guilty of that. and also because i know this sem's mods are gonna be a killer. i decided to take the compulsory stats module, brain & behaviour (oh kill me please), psychometrics and human development (can't wait!) but i thought might as well get all these difficult ones over and done with right? not all, but the first 3 at least. heavy and dry mods. at least, dr foo will bring fun to Breakfast & Bed (brain & behaviour). lol.

well, my last week of hols was pretty well spent, i must say, having met up with my lovelies and went for a kusu escapade with my family. yes, i went to kusu island. not to pray like all the aunties and uncles, but just to visit the island and walk around and have a nice picnic. =)
lovelies @ ion, coming up on fb soon! when i find the time to upload it.

attended school's orientation (for once, haha), glad to have met gloriaaaa. hope she'll enjoy school as much as i did. =)
and talking about first class honours, *waves goodbye*. found out that so for, only 2 people managed it. and second class upper, only about 2 to 3 gets it each sem 0_0. and alicia and i were joking, that we'll take the second class upper and leave first for pearl. haha. aiming for second class upper. so please remind me to study. study. and study.

hear me roar.

i saw my sac girls today, i miss them sooooo much! let's see. chrisann's still as noisy as ever, miss that imp. tracy, nicole, celine, angel, qian yu and callista too. didnt see the rest though =(
at least they still remember me *beams*

had a fantastic time yesterday with my dear llhs. k-ed and had dinner at yuki yaki, i can never get enough of llhs =)

sometimes, it takes a challenge, an obstacle, a difficult road, to know who will journey with you through difficult times.
care and concern that touches your heart; frequent messages that ask after you; gazillion hugs simply to let you know you're not alone.

and i know, that life IS a bed of roses if you make it out to be one. =)

it's the present and future that matters, no longer the past.

for a moment, i thought i've found my emotions,
yet, it seemed only a fleeting moment
it's about time,
to set it free

remind me not to take things for granted. lol. on a lighter note,

i told lian that i don't know what to say, or what to feel.

have i lost my emotions? or is this a sense of hopelessness, because i know that everything will only be a fragment of the past, and there's no point mulling or crying over it now? or is it because i'm praying, i'm hoping, that this is just a passing storm, and before i know it, it will be over?

words, are just words, simply made up of 26 alphabets strung into different words. but words, with no tinge of simplicity unlike the alphabets, carry with it a million and one meanings, intentions, and feelings. it may be meant to be taken at face value, it may be meant to carry intentions; it may be meant to convey feelings, it may be meant to hurt.
the difference, lies in the source of those words.

perhaps, the heart has turned cold.

i read it many times over,
each time feeling the hurt multiplied,
each time hating the words so cold.
yet, for once in my life,
i found it hard to cry,
the tears refuse to even land.
is it good? no it's not,
for it's falling inwards,
making my heart heavier and heavier.
and i wonder,
when can it rain, please,
so that my heart can finally be lifted
so that it can finally be free

at least, whatever's happening now is after my exams, and i wouldn't get distracted by it. and i'm thankful that they kept it from me until after my exams. and now, i have all the time in the world to think about it. day and night. especially at night. so being free isn't exactly a very good thing. anyway, my schedule is packed for the entire week. lol.

and to think i'd hope that things will turn out fine and everything will be better. fat hope. and i've learnt that when things are going well for a long long while, it simply means that there's a storm brewing underneath. it's simply a calm before a storm. a huge one. one that strikes when no one is ready. or perhaps, we could never really be ready for such things.

because when everything appears fine when it shouldn't, it just means that everything is kept in the heart. for the time being. keep, and keep, and keep. until it accumulates and one day, it finally explodes. and when it finally explodes, you find that you cannot pick up the pieces, because, you simply can't. even if you try, you cannot piece it back anymore. never.

with a such heavy heart, i didn't think i could survive the day. but i did. i met up with adlin, zian love, denise and mabel. which i'm really happy about. =) and headed for a family gathering to celebrate mid-autumn festival in the night. enjoyed playing with my darling jenna, she's toddling around on her own now!

tomorrow's gonna be a better day; i'm sure of it. =) thank you huiting, i'm glad we have each other to go through this together, to fight the battle together. we'll take things one step at a time.

it's about time.


you can never take back words that hurt

i scalded myself today. =( that just proves that when you do not concentrate, things will go wrong. i don't know what the hell was i thinking when i picked up the pan and touched the metal part.

i need to stop thinking.

and thank God for huiting, discussing with her about the issues has somehow brought back my breath because rather than keeping it inside, i'm rambling about it with her. because only she will understand how i'm feeling right now, because she's caught in the same position as me. i've said it before, and will say it again, knowing too much is torturous.

art is really therapeutic. i'm feeling more at peace with myself now. =)


you're just but a stranger