i went to her wake last night, with rachel and tiff. i saw her face, so surreal, but that prominent smile's no longer there. she simply lay there, at peace, i hope. i cried. i couldnt help it. as i read her blog, her friend's, her facebook memorial photographs, i cried. and each time i talked about her, the tears will start to fall again. even now. and i wonder, God, what her family must be going through. it had to be a hundred times worse.

i really cannot imagine how things could change so drastically within a night. one day, she was so perfectly fine. the next, she's gone. i wonder at length, what could have driven her to do so within the space of the night. she was so young. so pretty. so cheerful. so bubbly. so loved.
and i believe, will always be, in our hearts.


we'll always remember you, you and that smile on your face, you and the warmth you always brought, even if it's a short 3 years i've known you. i will remember playing in the same band as you, i will remember you waving happily down the corridor. i will remember knowing you.

goodbye, nicole.